Grandma Swensen Passes Away

On December 10th my dear, sweet, 98 year old grandma passed away.

There have been so many "this is probably it" moments throughout the last 7 years but she just kept going, and going, and going...she was like the energizer bunny.  (Ha, that was really lame ;))  She cracks me up, one time some of my sisters and my parents were visiting her and they got on the subject about death and my sister asked, "Grandma, aren't you anxious to see grandpa again?" (my grandpa died about 21 years ago) my grandma's reply - "NO!  He can wait!  I'm not ready to leave."  She was a very stubborn woman and not just because of her age.  I loved that about her.

This time, my dad called me the Sunday before and said, "Grandma's nurse says that her body is shutting down and she suspects she will pass away this week.". So we made it out to Provo to visit her.  It was a tender time we got to spend with her.  She was bed bound at that point and I sat in a chair next to her bedside and just held her hand.  She was more conscious than I expected she'd be.  I was a wreck, just blubbering over her.  I kept apologizing- who wants someone crying over them while they're on their way out of this world?  I just didn't want to worry her.  She just held my hand tight, smiled at me, and kept saying "I love you".  I will cherish those last moments I had with her.  It was also very sweet because Stockton was able to meet his great grandma before she left this world.

I'm so glad I was able to get this picture.  She's probably mad we took it but I just wanted to remember this moment. 

When we were young, she would often watch my siblings and I while my parents worked if we were out of school for the Summer or if we were off track so we all grew very close to her.  Some of my favorite memories of her are, when she would watch us in the winter time, we would get there super early and each of us would head straight to a heat vent and lay on it with a blanket over us for the first hour or so; I LOVED her home made pancakes, her grilled cheese (piece of bread with butter and cheese on it face up under the broiler) and chocolate milk for lunch; we would ALWAYS go to her house for cake and ice cream on Sundays and we got to play with our many cousins; I loved exploring in her backyard, it was lined with huge pine trees and was a decent size; my cousins and I loved putting on plays for her and she was so sweet to watch with enthusiasm at our silly acting; we would always beg for sleepovers at her house.  She would tell us the best made up stories before bed about little T and the Hobihoys; she loved to pull loose teeth (weird quirk I guess...my other grandma used to pick scabs haha) she would pay us if we'd let her pull them; she used to trim our bangs which consisted of her slapping a piece of scotch tape across our bangs as a guide and cutting straight across; I loved sitting down beside her as she sat in her rocker and I'd put my head in her lap and she'd play with my hair or scratch my back; I loved listening to stories of her childhood.

Those are  just a few of the many things I loved about my grandma.  I will miss her terribly but I am so grateful to know that this is not the last time I will see my sweet grandma.  I am grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel.  She lived a great 98 years.  I am so happy that she is now reunited with my grandpa and her mother and father.

Till we meet again.  Love you grandma.

I wish I had pictures from when I was younger...I'm going to have to go see if I can dig some up at my parents house.

The Swensen cousins after the funeral.  I think we are only missing 10 in this picture- one passed away many years ago and the others either went home before this picture or live out of town and weren't able to be there. There are 41 total cousins.

We Survived!...And a Very Happy Birthday to Carson!

Carson had to go out of town last week leaving me alone with two young kids AND not to mention it was a week before Christmas and he'd be gone on his birthday! Ahhhhh! Buuuut...

WE SURVIVED!!

It was definitely not my most favorite week...in fact, I dare say it was the hardest week I've had being a mother thus far.  I don't necessarily think it was due to the fact that Carson was out of town but it definitely didn't help. 

we played in the snow until our fingers were frozen (he refuses to wear his gloves)

This guy is 28...now that is old ;)

Happy birthday, Carson.  We love you!

Thanksgiving Weekend

We had a super busy Thanksgiving weekend (who doesn't though, right?).

On Thanksgiving day we woke up bright and early to head up to Cottonwood Heights for the annual "Beat the Mayor 5k".  I usually run it attempt to run it but didn't want to have Stockton out in the cold too long so Stockton, James, and I hung out with Laurie at the finish line where we cheered for our family and friends.  It was a very important job.  Carson ran it even though he has had a cough and did really well! Nice job Cars!

way to go Cars!

I was in the car nursing during the family pic :(

We stayed up in Salt Lake to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with our immediate Cullimore family.  I tried my hand at making my dad's famous candied yams and I think they turned out pretty well especially for the first time.  I sure do love Thanksgiving food and all the family time.

Friday (no, we did not hit up any Black Friday shopping...or is it Black Thursday now?- we're not nuts) we went out to breakfast at Ihop just our little family.  Later that evening we went to the Blackham's annual "Lighting of the Leg Lamp" celebration where Clay busts out his famous homemade donuts.  James was afraid of the lamp.  Silly boy. He talks about it daily, often when he first wakes up...I wonder if he dreams about it ;)

Staying warm with "The green Baga" - James refers to Laurie this way because she has a green front door ;)

Giraffe slippers. So cute.

Saturday we got together for our niece, Addie's baptism.  She is the oldest niece on Carson's side.  It was so neat to be able to be there for her special day.  It was hilarious, all the kids went up front to have a closer look and when Addie went under the water, Sam, Addie's one year old brother screamed "Whoa!" and kept squealing with delight.  It was so stinking cute.  Everyone had a good laugh.  Afterward, James kept talking about how pretty Addie was and that she was a "white princess".  He's such a gentleman.

Later that evening we went up to SL for a get-together with the Cook side of the family at grandma Cook's house.  We had a great time with everyone.  Grandpa Cook passed away two years ago on Thanksgiving and we miss him every day.  It must be hard for grandma this time of year.  We love her and are glad we were able to spend some time with her and the whole family during this time.

Sunday we gathered once again, this time to bless Stockton.  Carson was able to give him his first Father's Blessing.  It was very special.  I am so grateful to have the Priesthood in my family and that Carson can exercise it.  Afterward, we had everyone over to our house for a little luncheon.  It was a perfect day.

It was a jam packed weekend with LOTS of family time but it was so much fun.  I just love my family- the one I was born in to and the one I married in to.  I am one lucky girl.

A Few Thoughts on Life with Two

I wrote most of this a few weeks ago and am just now getting around to finishing this haha.  This list still mostly applies to how things are going currently.

I was just thinking the other day, although we are adjusting well, our life over here is definitely not the same.  I have to figure out new ways to go about my day dealing with a toddler AND a newborn.  A few thoughts as I go about my day:

• I am constantly doing laundry- Stockton likes to save his poops for one LARGE blowout! The past week we have had at least one blowout a day
• I am constantly pre-treating blow out stains
• I am constantly washing my hands between changing two kiddos in diapers, pre-treating blow out stains, just washing every so often to keep yucky germs away, doing dishes, cleaning the house...my hands are CHAPPED! 
• I am so worried about having a newborn during this time of year- especially with Croup going around. Praying real hard it stays away :/
• I have to let Stockton cry a lot while I'm tending to James' needs.  I hardly ever let James cry when he was a newborn- that kid had it pretty good.  Stockton is learning to be tough ;)
• James colored on the tile the other day!  Update: Now twice ha! Luckily it was with crayon and it came right off but I am learning why other parents tell you not to have nice things with kids ;)  I definitely have less time to watch him closely.
• My house is pretty much always a mess with toys strewn all about (but I'll take the clutter over the crayon scribbles any day).
• We watch Netflix A LOT!
• I am lucky that James and Stockton generally take a long nap at the same time in the afternoon. I really should nap during that time, and I often do, but I also often get distracted by all the things I need to do around the house or I decide to do things I enjoy that I otherwise wouldn't be able to do when they're awake (like blogging).
• I miss uninterrupted sleep during the night. Update: Stockton has now slept through the night TWO nights in a row!  I'm hoping this is a new habit :) Although, I'm maybe even more tired the last couple of days because my body isn't used to getting this much sleep haha.
• I enjoy my one-on-one time with James that much more now with two. 
• Subsequently, I enjoy when James goes to bed and I have a couple hours to enjoy snuggling with Stockton.
• I've had to feed Stockton on the go quite a few times.  I'm glad James is patient with me.
• I am always having to tell James to be soft.  He gets excited and pats Stockton harder than we'd like or he'll knock on his head haha.   
• Getting a shower in is difficult. I often just go without one if I can get away with it. 
• My back is KILLING me!  I think it's from nursing because I hunch over or maybe from lugging around two kiddos...or probably both

Keeping Stockton safe from James is seriously the hardest part about having a toddler and a newborn.  I feel so bad having to constantly tell James to be soft or be careful or get after him if he isn't.  I feel like I have to watch James like a hawk and can't set Stockton down and turn my back for even a second for fear James will accidentally harm him.  I swear when I do set him down, James bolts from across the room to love on him. 

Things are definitely a little more challenging but of course I wouldn't have it any other way.  It really has been a fairly easy adjustment so I can't really complain.  At the same time we definitely have those days where I just feel like giving up, but who doesn't?  

I can not believe how quickly time is going by!  Christmas will be here in just 3 short weeks ahhhh!  I absolutely HATE crowds so we are doing most of our Christmas shopping online.  We've done that the last couple years.  Love it.

Look at this adorable Zebra beanie!

We were able to get out and go to the Dinosaur Museum.  This was a week or so ago and ever since then James has been talking about wanting to go to the "dinosaur zoo" again.

Adjusting

Stockton is just over a month old now (5 weeks to be exact). It has gone so fast! October seems like it just flew by!

We are all adjusting surprisingly well to having another little one in the family. He is such a joy. I love seeing James interact with Stockton. He loves to show off his baby brother.

Personally, so far I think it was harder going from no kids to one than it has been going from one to two. I am already in "mama mode" so I guess that has made it easier. The thing that is hard for me is there is a lot of time spent nursing so that leaves James with 20 or so minutes to himself to completely tear my house apart haha! I am having the hardest time trying to just keep things picked up. My house constantly looks like a bomb went off. Buuuut most days I'm able to get us all fed, myself showered, and everyone dressed so that's a win in my book. 

Getting ready to go anywhere is a chore. I'm lucky to get out of the house by 11 if we need to go anywhere. I thought running errands with two would be impossible but so far it really isn't that different than with one- possibly because Stockton just sleeps during our errands...perfect! Keep doing that kiddo.

This thing is VERY convenient with two! I kinda feel like a kangaroo :)

Stockton is nursing really well. It's different this time for me. With James, I pumped and fed him a bottle for 13 months which I was thrilled that I was able to do that for so long and he got my breast milk so it was great. James didn't latch well and I was so busy with school and work I didn't give it the focus I would've liked but with Stockton, he was a champ and just knew what to do. It's hard though because I'm not used to not knowing how much he is getting so I was worried about him getting enough. I took both boys to the doctor the other day- James to get his flu shot and Stockton had an infected ingrown fingernail. They weighed him and he weighs 9lb 13oz! Whoa big boy! So I guess he's getting enough :)

He is sleeping pretty well with 3-4hr stretches and occasionally we'll get a 5hr stretch! James started sleeping through the night around 6 weeks so I'm hoping for the same with Stockton!!

We have had a cold going around at our house starting right before Stockton was born- ack! Bad timing! We tried so hard to keep it away from him but with a two year old that is constantly in his face, it was inevitable. The poor thing is mainly just congested right now but I'm hoping it won't get worse. Newborns aren't supposed to get sick.

Halloween was so fun this year. James' favorite part was passing out candy to trick-or-treaters at home.

My cute lil' Buzz and giraffe 

 James has a little crush....

Yup on The little mermaid :)

He's been obsessed with watching it and one day he said to me, "Mama, she's pretty." We ask him who his girlfriend is and he'll say, "the little mermaid" ha love it.

We are excited for the upcoming Holidays and time spent with family and friends. 

Stockton Joins Our Little Family

He's here!!  

Stockton Jean Cullimore was born on October 7th at 10:59pm.  

He weighed 7 lbs 15 oz and was 20in long.

This is how our sweet little guy came into this world:

First off, let me start where I left off, at 38 weeks pregnant.  That week my body gave a lot of signs (I will spare you the details) that perhaps I would go into labor on my own and possibly have him before my due date (Oct. 8).  So I got busy doing all the things that you hear to get things rolling, I scrubbed my kitchen floor and did a lot of cleaning around the house, I briskly walked up and down the hills in my neighborhood pushing James in a stroller, I did squats, etc.  I can't say doing these things did not help things progress but they ultimately did not put me in labor.  The only thing that they noticeably did was wear me out haha...Ok, I guess my house needed to be cleaned and it doesn't hurt to get some exercise ;) 

Going into this pregnancy, my doctor said since it was my second I could get induced as early as 39 weeks.  As tempting as that was, I decided to give myself an extra week to let my body do what it needed to do and hopefully go into labor on my own, I just did not want to go past my due date.  So I set up an induction date of October 7th.

Well that weekend it was becoming apparent that I was not going to go into labor on my own but I was ok with that at that point.  Unlike my last few weeks being pregnant with James, this time my body was ready.  I was dilated to a 3 and other things were happening that led me to believe it would be a lot smoother this time around.

Sunday night the hospital called us to let us know that we were scheduled at 11am to come in and get started but to call an hour before to make sure things were running as planned.  Monday morning we called and they had a few unplanned patients that day and were waiting for a room to become free.  After a few frustrating phone calls telling us "we are still waiting" and one that said "it'll be a few hours", we finally got the go-ahead to come in at 3:15pm.  It was so hard to wait.  We got into our room and I got changed and then we had to wait...again.  It was good though because during this time, Carson was able to give me a blessing.  I am so grateful to have the Priesthood in my family.  By 5pm I was hooked up to Pitocin and we were getting the party started (only 6 hours late). 

Soon after they hooked me up, the doctor came in and broke my water.  I was still only a 3 at this point.  The doctor left to perform a c-section at American Fork hospital and told me when he got back, I was all his.  I thought, Well hopefully this doesn't last two days then like it did with James or you may be re-thinking that statement.  ;)

This time around we decided we would like our family there with us to welcome this boy into the world.  Of course only the women were invited :)  Andrea was not there but instead was so kind to offer to take James while this was going on and we are so so very grateful for her. Courtney was so nice to take pictures for us with her nice camera and did such a great job capturing this special experience for us.  Cardin and Brandi were not able to be there in person but we were able to FaceTime them.  Crazy thing- technology these days.  Glad they were able to be there with us.  

Our family started showing up just as my contractions started to pick up.  Kristy and Lisa were great doula's.  So was Carson :) I figured I would get an epidural cause I'm a wuss but for some reason I wanted to see how far I could handle the pain.  I really wanted to experience as much of it naturally as I could handle so I put off having the epidural.  It was nice because as the contractions picked up, I found it was much more bearable to get out of the bed and try different positions to help me get through the contractions.  Getting up and allowing gravity to help also helped speed up the process.  As soon as I got out of the bed, I was at a 5 within an hour or so.  

That's some intense back rubbing!

You can tell when I'm having a contraction 

and when it's my "rest time".

"Oh man this hurts."

"Ok, we're good, someone get me some ice chips." :)

After I reached a 5, the contractions started coming quicker and were more intense.  I can not say there weren't any tears shed and maybe a few painful outbursts but I was getting through the contractions.  It actually wasn't near as painful as it was with James and I only hit a 4 with him before I got the epidural.  Maybe I just knew what to expect? 15 minutes later, my nurse checked me again and I was at an 8.  I went from a 5 to an 8 in 15 minutes!!  Then I panicked and said, "Get the Anesthesiologist!"  It's a good thing he was able to come fairly quickly as I will tell you my delivery was again not ideal.

getting the epidural

ahhh much better

Shortly after getting the epidural it was time to push!  It was a little after 9pm at this point.  We couldn't believe how quick things were going.  Such a better experience this time around thus far.  Of course my doctor was back and "I was all his" so it was go-time!  Everything was smooth sailing up until this point.  I began pushing and pushed for quite some time when my doctor informed us that Stockton was posterior and was stuck on my pubic bone.  I was worried I was faced with the possibility of a c-section but my doctor reassured me that it would not be necessary.  

I was so grateful I hurried and got the epidural when I had.  I really believe I could have done it without medication if my delivery was as fast and smooth as my labor but I can not imagine going through the delivery I had without any medication.  I pushed for just shy of 2 hours and excuse my being so graphic, the doctor had to reach up there and try and turn Stockton.  When that wasn't working, he acted as forceps and aided in getting Stockton's poor little head under my pubic bone.  

  

We were all a little worried.  I kept hearing my mom say, "Come on little guy, come on."

Finally after an emotional and grueling two hours of pushing, baby Stockton was here!  The poor little guy had a huge purple goose egg on the top of his head but he was here and was healthy.

Overall this time around, the experience was SO much better.  It's always such a great, spiritual experience bringing a child into the world, but it was much easier on all of us this time :)

We can't believe how much Stockton looks like James when he was a newborn.  

James has done so well adjusting to having a little brother.  This was my biggest concern and so far I'm not sure why I was so worried about it.  James adores Stockton! He will come up and rub his head and give him kisses.  He loves to help me change his diaper and get him dressed.  He's a good little helper.  He will say in a high pitched voice, "Aww look at him!  He's so cute!"  or "Ohhh he's looking at me." haha he's so sweet.

Carson goes back to work this week so we'll see how it goes! Wish us luck!  Carson has been such a big help.  He is such a great father and husband.  I couldn't have asked for a better companion and father to my children. 

Love my little family of 4!

   

38 Weeks

I am currently 38 weeks now!  I have been SO anxious to meet this little boy and I now feel that at 38 weeks we can get the ball rolling.  Suggestions on safe, effective ways to naturally induce labor are much appreciated :)

With James I went to 41 weeks and had to be induced and it was sort of a traumatic labor and delivery you can read my post about that here.  He just didn't want to come out!  We are hoping this time around that it will go much smoother.  I would really like to experience going into labor naturally and know that it would result in a much more ideal experience.

This whole pregnancy I have been kind of scared and it has been hard to really get excited to have another little one.  Why scared?  Well I'm a worry wart and a planner.  I like knowing what to expect and get stuck in my "comfort zone".  I have been worried about how it will change our family and how James will react to having a sibling.  At first I felt so selfish for feeling this way but then realized that many momma's also experienced these same feelings going from one to two children.  It wasn't until I was probably into the third trimester when I really started to get excited and stopped worrying about how I'm going to be out-numbered during the day and how James is going to feel.  I know the first few weeks will be challenging but I think now I am ready for the challenge and James will be such a good big brother!

My checklist is DONE!  I cut and colored my very neglected hair this past Saturday and the nursery is done (except for a few touches after the baby is born like photos etc).  Now that my list is done though, I am so much more anxious for him to get here already haha

Here's a sneak peek into the nursery:

I wish this was my nursery but this is my inspiration photo. 

 I really love the red and teal and applied it to our nursery!  

I will post a pic of mine when it's all finished!

I love these two pieces that are in the nursery.  The herringbone design on the left I made with vinyl stencils and just applied them on the glass of the frame and then bought the paper at The Paper Source. The birds I found at Ikea for 5 bucks and framed it!  Love love a good deal!

I am SO loving that we are now into Fall!  A relief from the blasted heat! I can definitely tell a difference in the temperature and love feeling the cool breeze.  I just wish Fall would stick around a little longer than it does.  It's crazy how much better you feel all around with a 10 degree drop in temperature especially when you're pregnant.

I have really noticed in this last month that my brain is so foggy and I am having some intense pelvic pain lately so as much as I enjoy being pregnant (most of the time) I am definitely ready to have my body back.

Carson went out of town last week for business and although I didn't think I'd go into labor early, it was just a little nerve racking with him gone 3 weeks before I was due!  Luckily everything went well.  I was nervous to be James' only entertainment 24/7 since I've been so tired and achy but we had so much fun together!  I know it's probably going to be the last time spending that much time together one-on-one so I thoroughly enjoyed that time with my little guy.  I also was able to work one day for a few hours and my sister was kind to watch him- that by the way almost put me into labor!  I hadn't worked for a month and boy does a month make a huge difference.  I was having contractions toward the end of my shift and afterward so I went home and took a warm bath and relaxed and they luckily calmed down.  If Carson weren't gone I would've welcomed the contractions!  I also was able to go enjoy some pampering time with some ladies from my ward (3 of us are pregnant).  I got a shellac manicure in baby blue of course :)

Wow, look at those veiny hands!

I have also been able to enjoy a couple home BYU football games with the family before the baby comes.  I love this time of year and believe it or not, I love football season.

I have started decorating for Halloween- my favorite holiday!  I got an early start this year because baby is due but I also just couldn't wait any longer.  I will post some pics soon, it just needs some final touches.